A Timely Article on Halloween Costumes
Happy week of Halloween everyone! At the time of writing this blog it is the afternoon of the first official day of Halloweekend: Thursday. Hopefully by now you are all comfortable in your decisions of costumes. It took me awhile to decide on an outfit this year as I found myself somewhat torn between convention and it’s opposite.
I’m a third year and the way I see it, being That Halloween Girl is really more of a first year thing. I think those days are behind me. Therefore, I searched and searched and searched some more this year for a full gorilla suit. I mean, really, why not? If I’m too old to be hot cop, I might as well acquire a costume that is composed of one or two pieces and which is sure to keep me warm all night.
Do you know how expensive gorilla suits are?! I could’ve sworn I saw one at Target last year for $20. I was mistaken. They’re like $70 at the cheapest! It’s total crap. So I bought a ninja turtle costume instead (not sexy, full mask, I’m pumped).
Anyways, regardless of that little diversion, when I discussed with one of my guy friends my decision to wear a gorilla suit all of Halloweekend (before realizing that gorilla costume manufacturers are money sucking capitalist a-holes) he said to me “…but like a hot gorilla, right?”
No not a hot gorilla! No dammnit! How is that even possible? In what world could someone be a sexy gorilla? Please, riddle me that. I’ve outgrown making not-sexy things sexy for the purpose of Halloween.
I still can’t believe he even asked that. Hot gorilla. Maybe to a male gorilla, I would make a hot gorilla, that is the only circumstance under which a gorilla suit could make me attractive to something.
Anyways, the moral of this story is….well there’s really no moral at all. I’m essentially just conceding that, personally, I’m too old, too lazy, and too jaded at this point to do anything but stalk the most absurd (and cheap) unattractive costumes on the market. Hence my Ninja Turtle getup, which I will be sporting proudly to every bar within walking distance tonight. With my mask on. All night. Until I lose it.
Regardless of what costume you all choose (as it really isn’t that important and I’m genuinely surprised I wrote about 400 words on it already), I hope you all have a fantastic Halloweekend!