I love my family. I really do. But, when I get stuck in the television vortex, sometimes I like to latch myself onto those families who everyone (mainly me) are just dying to fit into. Sure, they’re all fictional, and sure, I might be a different race than some of them (I could be adopted!)…but, throwing those obstacles aside, here is my list of families I wish I had dinner with every night.
The Cohen Family, from The OC (2003-2007)
If I ever got the chance to live like a baller in swank, Newport Beach, you better believe it would be with the Cohens. First of all, I would have awesome parents, Sandy, the super liberal wise man and Kirsten, the alcoholic yet comforting mother. They have the answers to everything and have the best ideas…like taking in the mysteriously attractive, Ryan Atwood, as a child of their own. I could just envision it now: midseason three, they could adopt me into their family; my running plot would have me finding ways to catch Ryan’s sexy attention. Then BAM, Marissa conveniently dies at the end of season three and Ryan is all mine! If you thought I forgot about Seth—you are severely mistaken; Seth would also be on my radar…and since I would be adopted, none of this would be creepy or anything…
The Porter-Kennard Family, from The L Word (2004-2009)
Another California city, with a different, uh, environment—West Hollywood! Surrounded by an eccentric group of friends, Bette and Tina are the responsible ones, who finally get the chance to have a child in season two. My playing grounds would be the cool coffee shop, The Planet and with an artist and a producer as moms, I would be one creative cookie. Not to mention…my godmother could be Shane McCutcheon…and my God would that be the sexiest and most bad ass godmother to have.
The Dunphy Family, from Modern Family (2009-present)
There are only two words that describe why I want to be in the Dunphy family: Luke Dunphy.
The Banks Family, from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990-1996)
Is there a coincidence that all these families reside in California? Probably. Anyway, how can you deny anyone from the Banks family? Uncle Phil, Aunt Vivian, Ashley, and Carleton, are great in their own right. But, it’s Hilary that takes the cake. It might be that she reminds me of my real life older sister or it might just be her charm that would make me want to be her sister. Finally, having Will as my cousin, from West Philadelphia (born and raised)? Psh, love it.
The Pickles Family, from The Rugrats (1991-2004)
This was suggested by my roommates actually. However, this family is full of nutcases—which would keep things fresh, I guess. The names: Stu, Didi, Dil…and then Tommy? All I’m saying, if you’re going to throw me into a family with Pickles as the last name…my first name better be bitchin. Also, the limited parental supervision is a plus, because then it would be easier for me to kick Angelica’s ass.
Also, found this gem right after writing this…call me unoriginal.